One of the fun things about travelling and spending time with various friends is that we get introduced to things we would never see or do on our own.

Along these lines, we recently watched a movie called Dawn Wall. The movie is about Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson free climbing the Dawn Wall, a 3,000-foot rock face in Yosemite National Park that was considered unclimbable.

The climb was broken up into sections known as pitches. The climbers had safety ropes for falls, but they used nothing other than their hands to make it to each pitch. Once they free climbed to a pitch they could go back to base camp (which was well up the verticle wall) and then use ropes to get back to that pitch. 

Caldwell made it across the worst section, but Jorgeson kept falling. Eventually, Jorgeson insisted that Caldwell continue. Jorgeson used ropes to climb sections he’d not completed so he could help keep Caldwell safe. 

As Caldwell got just below the top, he decided he didn’t want to complete the climb alone. He wanted Jorgeson to make it as well. At this point, they had been on the rock face for more than two weeks and giving Jorgeson more time to work on the difficult pitch was risking not making the top. After a couple of days of rest, Jorgeson made the pitch, He quickly caught up to Caldwell, and on day 19 of their climb, they both made the top.

Some would say Caldwell’s choice to wait was driven by friendship. While that was no doubt a factor, there’s more to it. I believe Caldwell wanted to be able to share the victory with someone. He wanted someone who understood what it took, who could relate to the feeling of making the top. I think he would rather have not made it that made it alone.

I have no idea if this kind of thinking is common for women, but I know it is common for men. In most things, a solo victory is inferior to a shared victory.

Lori and I ran into this recently when we went snorkelling for the first time. She had trouble breathing with her face in the water. She encouraged me to go ahead without her, and I knew she meant it. But I wanted to share the experience with her. When she finally got it, and took off so fast I had trouble catching up, I was at least as thrilled as she was that she was doing it. 

After a while, Lori got tired and headed back to shore accompanied by one of our guides. That was fine, she had done it, we had the shared experience. She did miss the experience of swallowing so much sea water you throw up, but not everything needs to be shared!

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is one brave, awesome woman!

♥ #CouplesQuestion: You wake up ten years in the future. What does your life look like?

Image Credit: © Red Bull 
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