On Monday, I asked you to think about the expectations you have for your marriage and your husband. Today I want to ask, no beg, you to share those expectations with your husband.
If you think you’ve done that, let me suggest the odds are low that you have. I hear over and over from husbands that they have no idea what their wife wants. Or they have heard a hundred things and they have no idea which are really critical and which are less important.
The other potential issue is the way your words and your actions interplay. If you say something is important but then show little or no disappointment when you don’t get it, your actions are undercutting your words. I’m not suggesting you become a drama queen, but clearly expressing your disappointment is part of this process.
I realise the risk in this is he won’t make any changes and you’ll feel even worse than you did before. Don’t let that fear keep you from sharing, and don’t allow it to make you fudge on what you share. If you need something from him, he needs to know that so he can do it or tell you he can’t or won’t do it. Unspoken expectations can kill a marriage.
If you want to get really crazy, ask hubby about his marriage expectations.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and I want to give my wife what she needs as well as what she wants.