I’ve been watching my son and daughter-in-love dealing with my strong-willed four-year-old grandson. Like all of us, he wants to be in control. He wants things to go his way. He has tried a number of things to get his way. Most of these have not worked for him because his parents are smart enough to know if something does work he will keep doing it. So being polite gets him results while being pretty much anything else does not.

The reality is adults are the same way. If a tactic gets us what we want, we will use it again. If it repeatedly fails to get us what we want, we will try something else.

Odds are your husband is this way. If something works for him, he will keep doing it. If ignoring you, or yelling, or arguing you to the ground works for him, he will keep doing it.

So, if you don’t like some way he acts, ask yourself if it’s getting him what he wants. Or, perhaps it’s not what he wants, but it is better than what he would get if he didn’t act that way. 

If you don’t like how he acts, then change how you react. When the behaviour you don’t like stops working for him, he will give it up.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and of course, women are the same way!

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