I heard something the other day about how men think in terms of exchange of energy. Meaning a man considers how much energy he will put into something and how much he will get back from it. The men in the room were like “duh” while the women seemed to find this a new idea.

I’d call this calculating the cost-benefit ratio. It’s asking “Is what doing this is going to cost me worth what I will get from doing it?” And men do these calculations in their heads all the time. When the cost is more than the benefit, there’s no reason to do whatever is being considered. 

A bad cost-benefit ratio is why some men avoid date nights. If he doesn’t enjoy what she wants to do, he gets no credit for doing it, and sex is not seen as a normal ending for a date night, then why would he do it? The only reason for a man in that situation to do a date night is to temporarily end the nagging about not doing it. 

A bad cost-benefit ratio is also why some men avoid real conversation with their wife. He feels he can’t keep up, can’t win unless he yells, and most of the time his situation is worse after a conversation than it was before. So again, why do it?

The other thing to know about this is that if he loves you, making you happy is important to him. If he knows something will bless or help you, that can make it worth doing even if it costs a lot. However, women don’t tend to communicate how something will help them or make them happy. When women fail to give hubby the information he needs to calculate an accurate cost-benefit ratio, they pay the price.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I totally think this way.

♥ #CouplesQuestion: If you could be someone else for a week, who would you choose?

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