Over on THG today I wrote about domestic abuse (see Abusers Are Cowards).

First a message for you ladies. There is nothing in the Bible that allows, much less justifies, physical, mental, emotional, or sexual spousal abuse. Once is too many times, and “it’s not that bad” is a lie women tell themselves. If you let him get away with it, it will get worse. And worse.

If you’re being abused, you need help ASAP. If you don’t think your church will help (which is sadly true of some churches) then get help from a secular source. It’s all but unheard of for an abuser to stop on his own, and abuse can explode into something worse without warning.

And that said, I want to talk about the other domestic abuse; women who abuse their husbands. And it’s not just emotional and mental abuse, some women physically harm their husbands.

How common this is we don’t know. A good study out of the UK found men were only a third as likely to report domestic abuse as women. Men don’t report out of shame, or because they fear the woman will claim he is the abuser and she will be believed despite no evidence. Estimates say 10% of intimate male partners of women have been on the received severe physical violence or some other severe abuse. And more men than that have been abused in some way.

What I would like you ladies to do is be aware this really does happen. A woman is less likely to kill, but she can still do significant harm. Some men see divorce as the only out, and sadly others see suicide as the only solution. 

Just as good men have a responsibility to fight men abusing women, good women have a responsibility to fight women abusing men.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife has never abused me!

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