Last week I encouraged you to speak up for the sex you want and need. This week I want to encourage you to also speak up about the sex you don’t want.

I’m all for blessing your spouse, and if you sometimes do something he likes that you don’t enjoy because you want to make him feel good, that’s great. However, if things you don’t enjoy are a regular part of your sex life something is wrong. If things you dislike are a regular part of your sex life, you’re in a very bad place!

As I said last week, sex is for women too. If your sex life is full of things you dislike or don’t enjoy, then you’re not getting the sex life you should have. Doing things you find gross or uncomfortable is a bad plan because it interferes with your sexual pleasure. This is another place where hints are a fail. If you have not told him very clearly that you don’t like something, don’t assume he knows it. If you complained about it years ago but kept doing it, he has no reason to think it’s really a problem for you.

One common source of this problem is from sex before marriage. It’s fairly common for women to do sexual things they don’t really like when dating. Or maybe she had no idea if she liked it, and then didn’t know how to say “No thanks” when she realised she didn’t like it.

If you’ve not been clear with him start by apologising for that. Then tell him you want sex to be good for both of you, and some of what you’ve been doing is making sex unenjoyable for you. Finish up by suggesting some alternative sex acts to try.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and if you’re not both enjoying it, it’s not good sex and it’s certainly not what God wants for you.

Image Credit: tiagozr | stock.adobe.com
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