In a recent comment, a fellow said, “I’m probably like most guys, I have made myself busy as a coping mechanism to deal with rejection.“

He’s right, this is a very common male way of coping with rejection. That could be rejecting time with him, rejecting sex, or constant arguing.

I started to do this less than a year into our marriage. I was on salary and I found myself staying at work when I could have left. But going home meant having to deal with the sexual problems and all the arguing about sex. Or pretending it was okay when we both knew it was not. When I saw what I was doing I made a decision to stop. Initially, that didn’t make a change, but in time things started to get addressed and I could see there was hope. Had I not seen some hint of change, I suspect I’d have fallen back into finding ways to be busy to cope.

Is it possible you have ever tempted your husband to use busyness to avoid conflict or some other marital problem? Most guys don’t look back once they start down this road. So even if the original problem does go away, he will keep working to be always busy. If you might have played a part in this, the way to affect change is to own your part and go from there.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I don’t avoid my wife in any way these days!

♥ #CouplesQuestion: What one skill would you like to improve?

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