I titled this being reasonable to unreasonable people, but given we talk about marriage here it’s mostly about being reasonable when your husband is unreasonable.

Every guy is unreasonable at times (likewise for women, of course), but occasional unreasonableness is not usually a problem. The problem is when a husband acts like he’s getting paid for every unreasonable thing he can do.

The human nature response to this is to be less reasonable yourself. But while this comes naturally, it’s not the best way to go, and it’s not biblical.

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Rom 12:18 ESV

As I see it, that verse tells us we must be reasonable even when others are not. We’re expected to do everything possible to make things work with others, even if they’re being unreasonable. The great thing about living this way is it increases the chances the other person will be decent to us. It doesn’t guarantee anything, but all other things being equal, the nicer you are to someone the nicer they will be to you. If you respond to your husband being unreasonable by being unreasonable back, do you think that will cause him to change? If you react to his being unreasonable by being unreasonable, why would you expect him to react better?

Of course, we don’t want to do this. If feels grossly unfair. It may also feel like we’re setting ourselves up to be used, abused, or neglected. This is where boundaries come in. A boundary means THIS IS OKAY | THIS IS NOT. There is a line, a point, a behaviour, where it goes from acceptable to unacceptable. Being reasonable to unreasonable people is a lot safer when you have and hold to proper boundaries.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have a very reasonable wife!

♥ CouplesQuestion: What are you concerned about?

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