Over on Quora, a gentleman said, “Women don’t realize how much sex runs a man’s life and life choices.”

While that is a valid statement, it’s complicated and easily misunderstood.

A man’s sex drive is a powerful thing and it influences him in many ways. However, sex does not control a man. We’re not slaves to our sex drive. I realise some men say they are, but they’re just excusing bad behaviour and poor choices. On the other extreme, some men have so repressed their sexuality this is not much of an issue, but that’s not actually a good thing, and many of these men have sexually frustrated wives.

The other thing to understand is a married man who has a good sex life with his wife is far less influenced by sex than other men. Think of it like this: If you were always hungry and some days you could not get enough food no matter what you did, eating would become a major part of your life. You would make decisions based on how they might increase or decrease your chance of finding food. On the other hand, if you were never hungry for more than a few minutes and knew food would always be available, eating would be far less of a motivator in your life. You would eat and enjoy it, but you wouldn’t invest time or energy into trying to make it happen.

When a man is sexually hungry, he starts to make choices based on how they affect his chance of having sex. When sex was rare for Lori and me, I would turn down most invitations that would get us home late because I knew we would not have sex if we were out late. (And I liked going out!)

Yes, sex has a significant input on what a man thinks. How much that affects what he does depends on his choices and how good his sex life is.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and being out late is no longer a concern.

Check out 6 Sex-Themed Gift Baskets for Christmas from J of Hot, Holy, and Humorous

Right at Half! – This week we move from 15% of our year-end goal to almost 50%!

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The Marriage Bed
4641 Lyons Hill Road
Springdale, WA 99173

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