What we believe about marriage shapes our marriage. Aside from shaping us, it influences what our spouse does. 

Have you ever wondered why some women put up with a husband who beats them or repeatedly cheats on them? It’s very simple: they believe they deserve it or believe it’s normal. 

If a woman comes from a family where domestic abuse is the norm, she is likely to dislike it but will put up with it as part of what it means to be married. The same is true if a woman thinks having her sex organs on the inside makes her a second class person. We accept things we don’t like if we believe they are right or inevitable.

Part of this plays out before marriage. If a woman thinks her job is to cater to a man’s needs, she will attract men who expect that. If she feels a she is just as good as a man, she won’t tend to attract men who think otherwise. But it also works after marriage. If a woman keeps putting herself in a certain position in the marriage, her husband will gradually accept that as who she is even if he didn’t think that way about women when they married. Some men will fight this, but it’s difficult.

So ask yourself honestly, how much of what you don’t like about your marriage did you invite? It’s a painful question and an honest answer will take a lot of bravery on your part.

If you have invited things you don’t like, change will take significant effort. First, you have to change your thinking. Then you have to work on hubby. Be honest and tell him you have invited or put up with certain things because of a wrong understanding of what God says about men and women. Then start a conversation about the issue(s). 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is NOT a second class ANYTHING!!

♥ Couples Question: Who is the most courageous person you have ever met?

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