I am sometimes accused of making sex way too important and not being concerned enough about other things. I think in part this is because Lori and I are both pushing back against a church culture that has made sex far less important than the Bible tells us it is.

The reality is there are many things each spouse needs in marriage. Not need as in will die without it, but need as in their love may die without it.

In a recent comment, I said, “I would have no problem telling a groom his (quality time) wife needs three date nights a month, for example. And warning him when it falls to two he has his priorities out of wack and needs to make some changes.“

If she needs that, then he needs to make it an extremely high priority. If money keeps them from doing as much as she needs, then he must find creative ways to give her what she needs. If he’s laid up in bed for a month, he needs to suggest ordering pizza and watching a couple of movies together. She has a legitimate need, and his love for her should compel him to find ways to meet that. If he does not, she won’t feel loved. And that’s on him, not her.

You could say sex instead of date nights in the above and it would be just as true. You could substitute a great many things, based on the needs of a spouse.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and real love can be costly at times. But it’s so worth it!

A post worth reading:

What About His Selfishness? | The Forgiven Wife – What do you do when hubbies selfishness puts you off sex?

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