A few caveats up front:

1. Lying is a strong word. Often it’s not as much lying as not telling the whole truth. 
2. I am in no way excusing or justifying not telling the whole truth!
3. Some guys lie to cover their own sins.

Often a man lies, or withholds part of the truth, because he doesn’t want to face the fight, anger, or withdrawal he feels he will get if he speaks up. The idea is “what she doesn’t know can’t hurt me!

Sometimes a man is wrong about the reaction he will get, but sometimes he is correct. His knows from experience his wife won’t deal with certain things in a reasonable way, and withholding the information makes his life and marriage better.

Usually, there is a gradual slide from telling her most things to telling her almost nothing. Every time he adds something to the danger list he also adds a few other things he thinks might be a problem. And every time she gets upset, it confirms to him that being completely honest with her isn’t good for anyone.

If you want to know everything, be approachable. Don’t beat up the messenger, and make a point of thanking him for being honest.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and telling the truth shouldn’t hurt!

♥ Couples Question: How would you like to celebrate your 90th birthday?

A post worth reading:

The Cost of Unnecessary Worrying | The Art of Non-Conformity – Why worry about what you can’t change?

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash
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