At the end of last week’s Friday post, I promised to tell you how to make sex better for your man.
There was some discussion of this in the comments from a few men. There was also the suggestion that most men who don’t get the sex they want should blame their porn use. I’ll cover the porn issue next Friday.
The things most men say about making sex better are more sex, more variety, and the wife initiating.
As I said last week, studies suggest this is not nearly as important as most men think. Way too little is a problem, but not quite as much as he wants is not usually as big an issue as the next two.
With regards to more sex, don’t feel every sex act has to be all out and for both of you, unless that’s your desire. Quickies, handjobs, and blowjobs are all good ways to give him more sex than you want to have.
This need not be as scary as it might sound. Try a few different positions. Invite him to spend five minutes on your breasts or sitting between your legs doing foreplay. Vary the when and where as much as your life allows. If you struggle because there is one way you get to orgasm, do those things but add some others before or after what you need.
Sex just for him is a great place to add some variety. A handjob on the couch during a long commercial break, a blowjob in the shower, or a quickie with you bent over the bed when you’re half-dressed for a date night.
Another form of variety is to tease him till he’s desperate for sex. This can be a lot of flirting and flashing, or feeling him up repeatedly for a few hours. Most men will be all about this once they know the teasing is always followed by pleasing.
This is the big one. And it’s a problem if you are like most women and don’t usually feel spontaneous desire. The easy way to deal with this is to say, “I’d like to be horny. Can you help me with that?” Most men would be thrilled to hear this. Those who don’t see that as “enough” are a major part of the problem, and perhaps they should be told that as lovingly as possible.
You can also signal willingness and let him take it from there. If you usually wear something to bed, show up naked. Or wear something clearly sexy to give him the idea. If necessary teach him that these actions are an invitation for him to arouse you,
The other way you can initiate is with things like quickies, handjobs, and other just for him sex.
Telling him sex was great for you does wonders for him. Many women seem shy to do this, and he really wants to hear it!
~ Paul – I’m XY, and you can do it!
A post worth reading:
Your Sex Zones & Her Sex Zones | The Generous Husband ◄ My TGH post for today is a long read, but it may help if what he wants and what you want sexually don’t line up well.
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