For a man, “sex” only requires an erection and someone willing to do something with it. It does not require having any feelings for the woman he has sex with. It does not require him to think she is good looking. It’s really about the same as “My bladder is full, where’s the nearest bathroom.”

Making love uses the same body parts and does the same things, but it’s very different. Making love involves the heart as well as the body. It matters who the woman is and she is beautiful because of how he feels about her. It’s a fun part of “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Much of what we see portrayed around us is sex, not making love. Most unmarried sex is sex, not making love. Men learn how to dress it up to fool women, and maybe even themselves, but it’s sex.

I mention this because some women assume men only want sex. It’s what they got from young men when they were growing up. It’s what their friends got. And they see it all around them. I get why they may assume their husband is no different. 

In a world where sex is easy to come by, a man who gets married is almost certainly looking for more than sex. He wants a relationship and he wants to make love. He may have no idea how to do that (it’s not like he’s had examples) but he wants it. 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have no use for sex.

A post worth reading:

By Dr. Corey Carlisle | How much will it matter later? ◄ We all know this. The problem is implementing it in the moment.

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