We all know that being selfish is a good way to limit or kill our marriage. So we try to not be selfish. But that’s not as easy as it seems. A new study found that selfish people don’t accurately remember their actions and think they were more generous than they actually were.

The study suggests this is a subconscious coping mechanism that allows people to be selfish and still feel good about themselves. This goes beyond rationalization, it’s misremembering things so you look better in your own eyes. This “motivated misremembering” allows people to feel they are good and generous when the reality is they are not.

So how do you know if you’re being generous? Are you generous or do you subconsciously recall being more generous than you are? If your memory can lie to you, then how do you know the truth? Your spouse’s opinion is certainly an important part of knowing the truth, but he is biased. I would suggest living your life openly with a few close friends in a way that allows them to see how you and your husband treat each other. This provides an unbiased outside view of your actions.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have guys who check me.

Reference:

Nature Communications | Motivated misremembering of selfish decisions

Image Credit: © Dmitriy | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.