Lori and I live on ten acres with our son, his wife, and her extended family. Four households, seven adults, and four kids. All in all, it’s a huge blessing for the lot of us, but there are of course differences.

One of those differences is what “being on time” means. There are also differences in how we see impinging on other people’s time and schedule. I don’t like this, but I have decided it’s how things are and I can accept it or make a big fuss, upset people, and almost certainly not see any real, lasting change. And so I have accepted it and learned to roll with it.

If I know there is likely to be an issue where it’s going to be a real problem for me, as opposed to just being frustrated over the difference in how we see things, I’m proactive about avoiding the problem. The rest of the time I just let it go.

Our marriages are very much this way. Your husband and his family have different dynamics than you and your family. Things you see as rude are not rude in his world. Things he sees as excessive are not excessive in your world. And as much as you want your way to be the right way, the way he did it the first couple of decades of his life is what seems right to him.

You can make a big fuss, get both of you upset, and probably not see a real, lasting change. Or you can learn to roll with it. Learn to anticipate and deal with times it’s going to be more than an annoyance, and let the rest go.

Of course, I’m not talking about issues of sin or destructive things here. And it’s fair to have a few things that bother you so much you really need him to change. But keep that list short and be fast to work on things he says he needs you to change.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and this is how I’m learning to roll

A post worth reading:

The Generous Wife | I’m Not Too Busy ◄ The beauty of margin.

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