First the disclaimer: This is true of men who are sincerely trying to follow the Lord. If he’s a lukewarm Christian, if he defends porn, or if he blames you, this is not him.

1. I am ashamed that I struggle with this. I wish it were not so, but even when I avoid it for months I still feel drawn to it.
2. I know it hurts you and I know it hurts our sex life. That should be enough to get me past it, but it’s not.
3. It’s not about you. I did this before we met. I don’t look at porn because I don’t find you sexy. It’s not because I don’t enjoy our sex life. This is about me, not you.
4. It’s not the same thing as sex to me. I don’t see it as being anything like cheating with a flesh and blood woman.
5. Porn is comforting. It tells me lies that I like, even though I know they’re lies. When I feel down, porn can make me feel better.
6. After I use porn and masturbate I feel horrible. It goes from great to awful in a split second when I climax.
7. What you do/don’t do makes it easier or harder. I’m not blaming you (see #3), but the reality is the temptation is stronger when it’s been a couple of days since we’ve had sex. The temptation is weaker when you initiate, when you clearly enjoy sex, and when there is more variety.
8. I’d like to be honest with you about my porn use. I think that would help me deal with it. But your past reactions tell me this is a bad idea. So I struggle alone and suffer in silence.
9. I’m sorry. I figure I’ve said that so many times you don’t care any more, but it’s true.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and many men who keep falling into porn hate it a great deal.

A post worth reading:

Intimacy in Marriage | Are You a Good Steward of Sex in Your Marriage? ◄ A very important question!

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