Virtually all unsaved men are fine with their wife looking at porn. And some Christian men are also okay with it too. Why on earth would this be?

Because porn makes women horny.

If a woman looks at porn, it will arouse her body. This is simple biology, it’s not a comment on the woman’s character or integrity. Watching sex causes physical arousal. Period.

If a man wants more sex, then anything that turns his wife on seems to him like a good plan. And if a man has ever watched porn with his wife, or any other woman in the past, he knows it’s better than foreplay and greatly increases the chance she will have an orgasm. The same effect can be had to a lesser extent from TV shows that include sex. Of course, sometimes a woman is so put off by what she sees that she doesn’t want sex, even though her body is aroused. But men don’t understand this and figure any arousal will increase the chance of sex at some point.

The other side of this is some women have figured out watching porn gets them aroused and/or makes sex/orgasm better and/or easier. If they struggle with sex, porn can become a tempting thing. It’s easy to rationalise it as a good thing because it makes sex better. And it’s difficult for a man in such a situation to argue this. 

I’m not suggesting the arousal caused by porn makes it a good idea. First and foremost it’s sin. Beyond that, it’s not building a couple’s sex life. It’s a cheat, a shortcut. It gets in the way of learning what they need to know to make sex good without porn. It can also be a trap, leading to sex being all but impossible without porn.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and we made this mistake but got out of it.

A couple of related posts worth reading:

PsyPost | Women who use pornography show an approach bias for erotic stimuli, study finds ◄ Porn changes how women see sex.

Psychology Today | What Porn Can Do to Intimacy ◄ It’s ain’t good!

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