How Sexual Frequency Affects His World

Some of you ladies will read this and think “I’m like that”. Many of you will not. But the vast majority of husbands will find this is true for them.

How often you have sex has a profound and wide-ranged effect on your husband. It influences the way he drives, how he feels about his day, and how work goes.

Calendar with happy face stickers to indicate when sex occurred

A couple of specifics:

If you generally have plenty of sex, and a series of events means little of no sex for a week or more, that won’t be nearly as difficult for him as a week without when sex is normally infrequent. Part of it is his body not being horny to start with, but there’s also the reality that in the first situation he feels you understand and care about his sexuality and in the second he does not. That has a significant emotional effect. When he feels denied, every single “no” tears at him, even if he’s not “hard up”. When he feels cared for sexually, a “no” is far less of a problem and it’s not difficult for him to be reasonable and understanding.

If you have regular sex, his attitude about you and your marriage will be way better. If something bad happens between the two of you, it won’t be as hard on him and he will handle it better if sex is not a problem. On the other hand, if sex is difficult, any little relationship issue feels far worse than it is.

I would agree a man should do everything he can to avoid acting badly because of these things. However, I also know it’s how he is wired and he can only go against it for so long.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and feeling sexually cared for is a wonderful thing.

A post worth reading:

Gary Thomas | Sloth: The Spiritual Assassin ◄ Has it hit you?

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3 Comments on “How Sexual Frequency Affects His World

  1. Add in also that it tells him his wife sees him as the man.

    If she doesn’t though in his mind and he cannot even please his own wife, what shot does he have with the rest of the world of being the man out there?

  2. Infrequent sex, you start to feel forgotten about, wife doesn’t care etc. If I had sex 3 or 4 times a week and had to skip a week, no big deal. But when you barely get sex and have to skip a week, two weeks, it is not good.

  3. I am sometimes told we just had sex last week why are you horny again. Go take care of it yourself. She doesn’t think that she has anything to do with my sex drive. So we have sex once a month on average. She had said on our wedding day that she thought 3 or 4 times a week sounded good to her. I also agreed with that. It didn’t last long. We went on a nice honeymoon and we only had sex 3 times because she was obsessed with going out exploring every day and didn’t want to waist time having sex. I had to take care of myself several times on the trip in a week because i could not handle it. All other trips since have pretty much been the same. I no longer wish to go anywhere because it is just depressing as i know nothing will happen.

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