Some of you ladies will read this and think “I’m like that”. Many of you will not. But the vast majority of husbands will find this is true for them.
How often you have sex has a profound and wide-ranged effect on your husband. It influences the way he drives, how he feels about his day, and how work goes.
A couple of specifics:
If you generally have plenty of sex, and a series of events means little of no sex for a week or more, that won’t be nearly as difficult for him as a week without when sex is normally infrequent. Part of it is his body not being horny to start with, but there’s also the reality that in the first situation he feels you understand and care about his sexuality and in the second he does not. That has a significant emotional effect. When he feels denied, every single “no” tears at him, even if he’s not “hard up”. When he feels cared for sexually, a “no” is far less of a problem and it’s not difficult for him to be reasonable and understanding.
If you have regular sex, his attitude about you and your marriage will be way better. If something bad happens between the two of you, it won’t be as hard on him and he will handle it better if sex is not a problem. On the other hand, if sex is difficult, any little relationship issue feels far worse than it is.
I would agree a man should do everything he can to avoid acting badly because of these things. However, I also know it’s how he is wired and he can only go against it for so long.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and feeling sexually cared for is a wonderful thing.
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