I read someone who works with couples on the verge of divorce saying unrealistic marriage expectations are a major cause of divorce. I don’t know that I’d call it a major cause, but I’ve certainly seen it mess up marriages that could have been very good.

Apart from sex, women tend to have greater expectations of marriage than men do. This is especially true for older couples. With younger couples, I’m seeing more men with unrealistic marriage expectations. But I think it’s still more common for women.

Unrealistic expectations are formed well before we are of marrying age. What we view on TV and in movies, along with what we read, are major contributors. Our friends are also a part of it, but they often reinforce unrealistic expectations more than they help form them.

If one spouse has unrealistic expectations the other is likely to give up. If you feel the game is rigged and you can’t succeed, giving up is the only sane choice. Given what’s on the line many will keep trying even after it’s obvious the goal is impossible to reach, but sooner or later they will stop caring and stop trying. And at that point the marriage is dead.

The difficulty with these expectations is they seem perfectly valid to us. And odds are our friend will agree with us. Decerning if one of you has unreasonable expectations or the other is failing to live up to reasonable expectations may take a trained third party. 

Might this be a problem in your marriage?

~ Paul – I’m XY, I think I’m very reasonable! ;-) 

♥ #CouplesQuestion: What do you need to stop doing?

A post worth reading:

Stronger Marriages | 5 Tips for Helping Girls with a Porn Problem ◄ Another talk you don’t want to have with your daughter, but you need to do it.

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