Divorce among couples of retirement age is a growing thing. And for every older couple getting a divorce, several more have become roommates.

If you want to avoid being part of this trend, you need to deal with it before you hit fifty.

Most of these divorces are filed by women. But for the most part, the women file because they are tired of living with a man who just doesn’t get it. She long ago gave up on him ever-changing, and she has just been biding her time till she could get out, or until she couldn’t keep pretending. I don’t think either of those is right, nor is becoming roommates, but I do understand why it happens. No one wants to live in an empty shell of a marriage!

Let me tell you what you need to understand about the man’s part in this. In middle age, he is at the peak of his earning potential, but it’s becoming more difficult, and he feels the hungry youngsters nipping at his heels. He feels a need to save money for retirement, and that can become all-consuming. He allows himself a few pleasures on the side and if those don’t involve his wife, he spends not nearly enough time with her. 

This is also a time when his sex drive is dropping. If he and his wife have a great sex life they’re both into, things might not change much. But if she’s never been big on sex or has lost interest, his declining drive no longer pushes him to work past the obstacles and have regular sex. If a man’s sexual connection with his wife wanes, his feelings for her and his desire to spend time with her also wane. It’s not that he only cares about sex, but sex is important, and it affects the rest of his marriage relationship for good or bad more than is the case for most women.

If you want a great marriage after retirement, you need to work at keeping the marriage strong through middle age. If hubby is being clueless, he needs more than a hint; he needs a very clear request followed by a warning if he ignores the request.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and hopefully, the best is yet to be!

A post worth reading:

The Generous Wife | Flash ◄ Speaking of going beyond a hint…

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