I’m going to pluck a few things from a study that looked at why men and women have sex and how sexually satisfied they are based on age. The two age groups were aged 18 to 25 years and 30+ years.

• In general, young men have self-focused reasons for having sex, while young women are more likely to have partner-focused reasons to have sex.
• Older men and women are less likely to have sex for self-focused reasons.
• Lower levels of self-focused reasons for having sex resulted in higher levels of sexual dissatisfaction for a person’s partner.

The first two are no surprise. Younger folks are more self-focused about most things, and sexually men are more this way than women. But that last one is not what many would expect! The survey authors put it this way:

In essence, less sexual self-focus led to greater partner sexual dissatisfaction at older ages. These results suggest that an optimal level of sexual self-focus may be required to maintain partner satisfaction over time.

For both men and women, a bit of “sexual selfishness” by their partner resulted in them being more satisfied with sex! Of course, anyone who has had sex with a disinterested spouse gets this. Good sex requires both spouses to want to enjoy the act.

If your husband has become more and more about sex for you or sex for you as a couple, it’s possible he has moved too far from caring about his own pleasure and has reduced your sexual satisfaction in the process. Likewise, if you’re all about his pleasure and care little for your own.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and this one is tricky!

New TMB Survey: Masturbating As A Couple

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