Even if you were both inexperienced on your wedding night, your sex lives did not start at that point in time. You both came into marriage as sexual people. Who you were sexually was shaped by many things big and small that happened from birth onward. If you and hubby have not thoroughly discussed your sexual pasts, you really need to do so. This is part of who each of you is and knowing about it will make it easier to understand each other now.

Any past sexual experience with another person needs to be covered. Not in gory details, but you should each have a rough idea of what the other did before being together. Other things to discuss would be when and how you discovered masturbation, your first period or wet dream, first exposure to porn, weird and wrong things your friends told you about sex, and any embarrassment or fears you experienced related to sex.

If you’ve been married a while and have not done this, suggesting it now may seem odd to your guy. Use this post as a way to open the door. You don’t have to sit down and disgorge every last bit in one go. In fact, I’d suggest against that. Start slow and see how it goes. If you can get him to open up you could learn a lot about him and what makes him tick sexually.

Do be aware that this kind of discussion is likely to get him pretty horny. Having a plan for doing something about that would be a real kindness.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I got no secrets from my wonderful wife.

A post worth reading:

The Generous Wife | More Than Missionary ◄ A clean source for some new ideas.  

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