I know a good many wives are upset, frustrated, mad, or sad about their husband’s masturbation. Some are concerned about porn or what is going on in his head. Some think it’s wrong or are offended he’s not asking to have sex with them. Some are not getting as much sex as they want and they are rightly upset he is taking care of himself when they want sex.

I’ve talked about Why Men Masturbate In The Shower. I have explained that He Masturbates For Different Reasons Than You and that Men Masturbate to Make Up the Difference. I have also explained that most men did a lot more masturbating before marriage than most women. But none of that helps you get him to stop.

So I suggest you ask for the right of first refusal. He is allowed to masturbate as he feels he needs to, but he has to first tell you he is going to do it. If you offer anything from a handjob to a quickie to “full sex when we go to bed”, he has to accept and not do it himself. Set a workable time limit – you have four or six hours to do something and then he is free to take care of it.

Even if you usually just leave it to him, this provides some communication on this issue, which I think is good. You become aware of how often he wants to do it. Additionally, it might make him a bit less inclined to masturbate and it could result in more sex for you.

BTW, if you are the higher drive spouse in your marriage, offer to do the same thing when you are horny. If he refuses your request for the right of first refusal, ask him if that means you are free to do what you feel you need as well.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m for more sex and less solo flying.

A post worth reading:

Dr. Corey Carlisle | Desires and decisions ◄ A nice fit with my post above.

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