This post will show up on the TMB Facebook page. But if you comment on it there I won’t see the comment because I don’t go to my feed. So it’s easy for me to say Facebook is a problem because I don’t use it and have nothing to lose. 

There is plenty of research out there about the way social media can cause depression and leave us less satisfied with our lives. What I want to look at is how it impacts our marriages. And overall it’s not good!

Several studies have shown a dose-related correlation between social media use and dissatisfaction with one’s marriage. Other studies have shown an increase in divorce if one or both spouses use social media heavily.

Social media is often a lie. Everyone curates what they post to make themselves look as good as possible. Even folks who try to be honest are going to look better on Facebook than they look in reality. Lori and I have worked with couples on the verge of divorce and seen them posting things on social media that made it look like they were doing great.

Another problem with social media is they use an algorithm that shows you things you agree with. So you don’t find the truth on Twitter, you find people who reinforce what you think the truth is. If you just want to be told you’re right, that works for you. But if you think social media is validating your marriage choices and confirming your husband is the problem, understand it’s programmed to do that regardless of what is actually going on.

Then there’s the misuse of social medial to hurt, shame, or manipulate a spouse. This can be subtle or vicious. I’ve seen false accusations made and believed. Then there are things like the wife who suddenly started posting things about abuse when she and her husband split up. There was no abuse and she could rightly say she never accused him of it, but she very much planted the seed of a lie.

And yes, I see guys using social media to hurt their wives; this is not just a female thing.

My hope is we will all be more prayerful about our uses of the Internet in general and social media in particular. There is a potential for good, but there is also a scary potential for harm. 

Is social media hurting your marriage? If so, grab your hubby and do some serious praying and talking.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I wonder if I should stop posting to Facebook.

Related posts worth reading: 

becomingminimalist | 10 Rules for Using Social Media Intentionally ◄ Some good safeguards
Love Hope Adventure |  7 Signs Your Relationship With Social Media is Unhealthy ◄ Any of these ring true for you?

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
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