Eight years ago February, I wrote a TGH post entitled Wife Beating “Christians”. I did a fair amount of research for that post and concluded that domestic abuse in the church was a very big problem. This upset me and made me wonder why the Gospel was not changing men, but I never ignore the data, so I went with it.

But it turns out I was wrong. Most of the data I had read was skewed by a simple mistake. Those doing the studies identified a man as Christian if he said he was. I can see why the world might see that as a valid way to label people as Christians, but those of us in the church know better. Christain researcher George Barna has long said the best way to determine how seriously someone is about their faith is by how often they attend corporate church gatherings. Those who attend weekly or more often feel differently about a wide array of things than those who attend a couple of times a month. And those who attend a few times a year are also different. Likewise for those who never attend.

So it’s not at all surprising to learn that how often a man attends church significantly impacts the odds that he is abusing his wife or children.

Among regular church attenders, wife abuse is very low. Much lower than for non-attending “Christians” or non-Christians. However, non-attending men who claim to be Christians are far more likely to abuse their wives than any other group. So all those stories you see about how abuse is common “in the church” are wrong. It’s not men who are in the church, it’s men not in the church who are using the Bible as cover for their sin.

This doesn’t mean what abuse is happening in the church is okay, nor does it mean we can ignore it because it’s so rare. But let’s stop believing and promoting the lie that Christianity makes men wife abusers, because this is not true. The reality is Christianity makes men more loving and greatly reduces abuse. Let’s celebrate this good news while continuing to do all we can to deal with those who are abusing.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I love being wrong in this situation!

❤️ #Couple’sQuestion: What do you hope for in the new year?

Note: An unedited rough draft of this post escaped a day early. Now finished and cleaned up.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I love being wrong in this situation!

A post worth reading:

CT | Evangelicals and Domestic Violence: Are Christian Men More Abusive? ◄ This is the article that gave me the truth on this issue.

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