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Yesterday and today on the Generous Husband I talked about being the person God made you to be and having the marriage God wanted you to have. Tomorrow I will talk about one of the big obstacles to that – emotional baggage.

I might discuss your baggage down the road, but today I want to talk about your husband’s.

Some guys get very attached to their emotional baggage. They don’t just claim it, they’re proud of it! They don’t see it as a problem; instead, they proclaim it’s who they are. If this describes your husband, I’m sorry. I know it’s horrible and you feel trapped.

So what can you do? You have probably figured out that pushing him doesn’t work. If you push he will just double down. It won’t help and might make it worse. If it’s ready bad, then an ultimatum might be your only option. But that’s a last-ditch, nothing to lose option, and should be treated as such.

Rather than pushing, pull. Try to draw him out. Work to help him see that his baggage is costing him. Talk about the things you would like to do that you can’t do because of his baggage. Don’t blame his baggage, he can make the connection. You can occasionally suggest another way of dealing with something, but do it casually and move on.

Of course, the other thing you can do is to deal with your baggage. If he sees you getting freer, he might decide to try it himself.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and emotional baggage is a bag no one should mind losing.

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