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Is sex on holidays an issue in your marriage? You’re busy and he wants sex! Can’t he go one day without?

First, is it really one day? There are men who know they will have no sex between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Others know there is a week or more on either side of each holiday when sex isn’t going to happen. To be fair, many of the wives who are sexually unavailable for a week or so aren’t aware they are unavailable. But that doesn’t change anything for him.

As I said, you’re busy. In most families, holidays mean more extra work for the wife than the husband. That one is easy to deal with. Ask him for help! If you want to motivate him, tell him you would be more open to sex on or near the holidays if he could take some of what you do off your hands. Don’t just complain he’s not doing anything, and don’t leave it wide open. Get specific. So rather than “take care of the kids” say “take care of the kids, keep them out of the kitchen, and make sure their rooms are picked up before bed.” Give some idea what you want done and how, but don’t micromanage or expect him to do it the way you would if there are other perfectly acceptable ways to do it. If you don’t ask for his help because he won’t do exactly the way you would, that’s not about him. It’s probably also a problem in your marriage apart from sex or the holidays.

If your husband makes a big deal about the lack of sex near the holidays, part of it is that human nature thing about wanting what you can’t have. A bigger part of it is feeling you don’t really care about him, because if you did, you would find a way to do something that’s so important to him. I realise there is probably more to it than that, but can you understand why he feels that way?

Below are some ideas for giving him a bit of holiday sex this year. Most of these are just for him because if you wanted it then it would be happening. If you want to enjoy it too as long as you’re there, modify accordingly.

The day of is best. If travel or family staying with you makes that difficult, then the day before is good. The day after tends to communicate he is low on your priority list, unless you go out of your way to make it really great for him. If you plan for the day after, let him know ahead of time. Mornings are a safer choice as you may be tired or have eaten too much at bedtime.

• Come to bed Christmas night naked or wearing a couple of bows and tell him you have one more gift for him. Or do it on Christmas Eve, as an early gift.
• Give him a blow job wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
• If he wakes up on a holiday with an erection, do something with it. If he doesn’t wake up with an erection, give him one and then do something with it. Have lube, towels, and whatever else you might need ready to go so no one has to get out of bed.
• Jump in the shower with him and use your hands or mouth.
• Have a standing rear entry quickie. Doing it half-dressed is especially sexy.
• If you’re going to a New Year’s Eve party, have sex before you go. Or make sure he sees you get dressed without panties or in some sexy lingerie and let him know you expect sex when you get home.
• If you aren’t going anywhere New Year’s, ring in 2023 with sex.
• Masturbate together. Put your heads at opposite ends of the bed so he gets a good show. If your self conscious, light the bedroom with candles or twinkle lights.

You will notice many of these could be done in five minutes. If you can’t find five minutes, then the lack of holiday sex isn’t about the holidays and it’s probably not about sex either.

BTW, I am aware I’ve had a number of hard-hitting “corrective” posts recently. Sorry about that. For what it’s worth, the same is true over on The Generous Husband. Our church has been going through 1st Corinthians, which is heavy on correction. Maybe that has influenced me. Regardless of why I’ll make an effort to lighten things up.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and sex is a great way to celebrate any holiday!

A post worth reading:

Hot, Holy & Humorous | What It Feels Like to Have No Sex Drive ◄ From a woman who is usually the high drive spouse.

Image Credit: © Roslen Mack | stock.adobe.com
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