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Last week over on The Generous Husband, I suggested there were times when a guy should give his wife a smile and keep his mouth shut. It’s a valid truth for wives too, but with an added twist.

It has been said wives generally have “more words”. My wife will tell you we are the exception that proves the rule, but would agree that for most couples this is the case. I will get arguments on this, but I’ve had plenty of men tell me their wife talks too much, so for some it’s a real problem.

I tell men they need to learn to listen. I tell them to stop what they are doing and actively listen. Ignoring your spouse when they talk is unloving, and I’m opposed to being unloving. However, if this is an issue in your marriage, you also have a part to play in making it work. If you bury him in words all the time, he will be far more likely to tune you out. If you tax his ability to listen, he’s going to miss something he needs to hear.

My wife has been known to stop me and ask, “Are you saying something I need to know?”. Given my ongoing stream of consciousness monologue, it’s a fair question, and I don’t take it personally. If I say yes, she listens, so it’s all good. Perhaps you could suggest this question to your husband. The other way to do this is for you to make sure he is paying attention when you say something you need him to hear. “I need to tell you something when you have a second” works well.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have a LOT of words!

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