Posted on March 31, 2023 by Paul Byerly
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I recently saw all kinds of stories about actress Rachel Bilson, who told the world she had her first orgasm during intercourse at the age of 38. Some folks tried to figure out who she was with at that time, assuming he must be a major stud to make that happen. In reality, her age probably had far more to do with it than her partner’s skill.
Sex is complicated, especially for women, and most women find it gets better and better over the years. Lori and I have talked to a number of women who had their first intercourse orgasm in their late 30s or early 40s. We’ve also heard from women who had their first orgasm of any kind, or started to have multiple orgasms, five years either side of forty. And we’ve heard about suddenly wanting sex, or way more sex, or starting to greatly enjoy it, at about four decades.

There are a variety of things at play here. Part of it is years of experience. For some, consistency is a factor; if a woman had a string of partners when she was young, settling down and having sex with the same man makes things better. Many women are coming to grips with the body image struggle. Additionally, many women get past being shy; they start expecting sex to be good for them, and ask for what they need. If she has children, they’re getting old enough they don’t drain her past caring about sex. There are also hormonal changes that can help.
The reality is, a lot of women come into their own sexually starting in the late thirties. Expect that, and use it to make sex way better for you and for your husband.
BTW, Bilson also mentioned her intercourse orgasm came after she had stopped taking birth control pills. Hormonal contraceptives are known to reduce sex drive and function, so this may have been a factor.
~ Paul – I’m XY, and the best is yet to come!
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