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Don’t tell your husband I said this, but odds are good your memory is better than his memory in many situations. A study done in Sweden a few years ago found women are better at “verbal episodic memory tasks”, while men are better at recalling “symbolic non-linguistic information”. Women are better at recalling things like faces, words, object, and everyday events. Men are better at recalling navigation. So you are more likely to remember what you went to the mall to buy, and he is more likely to be able to find the car when you leave.

This means when you and your husband differ on the details of something from the past, your memory is probably closer to reality than his is. This is part of why I almost never argue such things with my wife any more. Aside from the fact it usually does not matter, she is likely closer to the facts. I have no idea how you convince your husband of this, because many men will argue they are the rare exception. Maybe just smile and let him have his say if the details do not matter.

Where are My Keys?

Your memory strengths mean you are less likely to forget where you put things. You may also have a better chance of knowing where he put something if you saw him do it or saw the item later. This may be why “Where are my keys?” is such a common thing for a man to yell to his wife. He is not blaming her; on some level, he knows she has a better memory for such things. 

Help Him Out

I used to be horrible about losing my keys, wallet, and glasses. I’m sure my dear wife cringed each time I said, “Do you know where my…”. To save her sanity and mine, she helped me create places for things so I was less likely to lose them. A hook by the door for keys. A bowl or box on a shelf right inside the door for things. A tray on the bedroom dresser for my wallet and anything else coming out of my pockets.

I also appreciate all the times Lori helped me look for something, even though she had no idea where I left it. I felt cared about, and that is a good thing!

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m glad my head is securely attached.

[This post first appeared Mar 03, 2014.]

Image Credit: © Paul H. Byerly
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