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I ran across a survey that asked 1,000 Aussies about their sex lives. According to this survey, far more folks felt comfortable “bringing pleasure” to nipples or the clitoris than to the penis. The very carefully worded conclusion said that “we have a higher level of understanding of anatomy for people with vulvas than for people with penises”.

This is an interesting claim that flies in the face of a lot of yelling about how men are so clueless about where the clit it, much less what to do with it.

I think the claim is accurate for a couple of reasons. First, in the last decade we’ve had a lot of education about the clitoris. Second, because men don’t usually “need” foreplay, how to pleasure a penis is often ignored. But just because he doesn’t need it does not mean he wouldn’t enjoy it. Penile stimulation during foreplay feels good. Perhaps men “rush to intercourse” because they don’t get any sexual stimulation until that point. Stimulation during foreplay can help some man last longer because rather than being a sudden hit of stimulation, intercourse is an increase in what has already been happening. This can also make his orgasm better.

If you don’t know how to make his penis feel good, ask him. Get him to touch himself in ways that feel good, then do those things. But don’t stop there, spend some time exploring and finding new ways to make him feel good. A bit of lube will make most of what you do feel better.

Making foreplay something you do to each other will benefit your sex life. Give it a try. Bonus points for playing with his penis after sex. Give him a minute to get past being super sensitive, then show his penis some afterglow love.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and penises need attention too!

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