Podcast: Download

If your husband said “I have a hard-on with your name on it” would you think that was cute, tasteless, or gross? What if he just pulled out his penis and pointed to it? Would that be good or bad in your mind?

A lot of the things men say and do to invite their wife to have sex are seen by the wife as less than loving, caring, or inviting. So why do men keep seeking sex in such ways?

It’s a simple failure to understand the golden rule often fails when it comes to sex. If you pointed to any of your sexual body parts or suggested your arousal was all his, he would be thrilled. 

I suspect both of the examples I gave leave some women feeling used. Like his arousal is your job to fix, regardless of why he’s horny, or how you feel about it. I get that, but most men don’t. He is offering to share his sexuality with you, and in his mind that is a very special, intimate thing. It’s like offering to share his chocolate dessert with you, but with less clothing.

If how he asks for sex puts you off sex, that’s an issue you need to discuss with him. But before you do, please try to hear his heart. Reject what the world says, and accept his love and desire for you. Then, when you do tell him his methods are counterproductive, suggest some better ways for him to ask for sex.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and asking for sex can be scary!

Image Credit: © Prostock-studio | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.