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A few days ago, I told the men on The Generous Husband that clutter can limit a woman’s sexually. I said this is particularly an issue when the bedroom is cluttered. I doubt I have to explain that here, and if you don’t get it, then you are one of the rare women for whom it’s not an issue. But most of you find it easier to want, have, and enjoy sex if your home in general and your love nest in particular are tidy.

But here’s the thing, while you get it, odds are your husband does not. There are two reason for that. First, a study found men are not nearly as impacted by clutter as most women. Second, when he’s horny, he is blind to everything other than the target of his desire – AKA you. He is just fine with taking you on that unmade bed covered in laundry and toys the kids dragged in. He may or may not register the mess after he’s done, but it won’t slow him down or lessen his enjoyment.

If you think clutter is hurting your sex life, I suggest you work to teach your husband this gender-based fact. Then ask him to help you do something about it. Get him to help you make your bedroom a place where clutter doesn’t derail your sex life.

If you manage to get a clean bedroom, be sure to let him know it matters. After mind-blowing sex, say, “Sex is so much better in a neat bedroom!”

~ Paul – I’m XY, and the Y seems to make me blind to clutter.

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