Podcast: Download

I had a discussion with a woman on an old post from this blog. She told me her husband wouldn’t even think of asking for a hand job if she wasn’t in the mood. She expressed the idea that sex should only occur when both want it, and anything else means the woman is being used.

What was interesting was at the same time I was having this discussion, I was also working on a post entitled Love Sacrifices over on The Generous Husband. I said, “Love sacrifices for the one it loves. This is the hallmark of love. If this is missing, it’s probably not love, and it’s certainly not mature, healthy love.” And I finished the post by asking, “Do you sacrifice for your wife? Do you do it often enough?”

I didn’t mention sex in that post, but I think it should be treated the same way. To be fair, the woman I was talking with may feel sex is different. I’ve talked to women who feel this way. They will sacrifice a great deal, possibly too much, in other areas, but would not budge an inch when it came to sex.

There is a strand of feminism that identifies sex as rape if the woman is not all about it, and that may be part of the issue. I’ve even seen it suggested it’s wrong for a man to want sex when his partner does not. Yes, really.

I realise men have used and abused women sexually for most of history. But two wrongs don’t make a right, even when one wrong has gone on for a very long time. As I said before, love sacrifices. It does things it does not desire at the moment because one it loves does want them. There must be balance, but “only if I want to” is neither loving nor balanced.

If you were taught it’s unloving for a man to ask for or expect sex when you’re not champing at the bit for it, then this post may upset you. I would challenge you to think and pray about it. Is sex really in a separate category, allowing you to do things that you would consider selfish in any other area of your marriage? If you think that is the case, who put sex in that separate category? Can you find any biblical support for that idea?

And of course, have at me in the comments!

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I love making sacrifices for my wife.

Image Credit: © andriano_cz | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.