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I’ve had folks ask me about how to live with an unbelieving husband. And do so in a way that points him to God.

I wonder what it’s like for a man whose wife gets saved. It should be great, but I doubt that is usually the case. There are things they used to do together, that she won’t do now. That’s appropriate for things like watching porn, getting drunk, or doing drugs. But given how we tend to go overboard when we come to Jesus, I suspect many women cut out things they should not.

Then there is the endless scolding, telling him he’s doing things he should not. He is now on his own for Wednesday dinner and Sunday lunch. And for most men, their wife’s salvation is not a blessing for their sex life. 

Basically, Jesus becomes the other man.

So how could we do this better?

First, I’d suggest a great deal of prayer. You have a tough road ahead of you, and you’ll need grace to do it well. 

What your unsaved husband needs is Jesus. He doesn’t need to be told he’s sinning. He doesn’t need you to try to change him. He needs Jesus. And the way you get Him to Jesus is to show him the love and grace of Jesus in every way you can. So go out of your way to bless him. I’m not proposing you go along with sin, but when you must opt out, do it without making too big a deal of it. Look for ways to make his life better. Work to provide food he really enjoys. If he suggests doing something that doesn’t compromise your beliefs, do it. Encourage him to have his friends over, and serve him and them. Spurgeon told a story of a man with a wife like this, and said it brought him to the Lord.

If you really want to sell it, make a massive effort to blow him away in bed. Become the sex partner he has always dreamed of. And when he asks you about the change, blame God. Now that will preach!

~ Paul – I’m XY, and this is how you reach a man.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous | 3 More Principles Christians Should Affirm About Sex ◄ Yes, yes, and YES!

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