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My tag line on Wednesday’s post was “I’m XY, and I sometimes wish God had given me less of a sex drive.” I don’t feel that way any more, but I did for a long time. And I’m hardly alone. I came across an old Quora post that addresses this, so I am rewriting and posting it here.

The question I answered was, “What’s something that sucks about having a high sex drive?”

The short answer is wanting sex more than your spouse wants is a bummer. And there are no good choices.

• If you ask, and she says no, there is a good chance you will both feel hurt.
• If you ask, and she says yes even though she’s not interested, it’s not that great for you. And you worry about how she feels.
• If you don’t ask, and stay horny or do it yourself, you feel negatively about her “not caring enough” to help out.
• Best case: You hint, and she offers. It feels good that she is aware and cares. But if it’s just for you, which is not what you want. And you worry if she feels used.
• Worst case: You hint, and she doesn’t offer. If she is unaware, this is easy for her. But it really sucks for the guy,

I know a lot of men (and some women) who would pay big money for a way to turn their sex drive down to match their spouse’s. Their higher drive is a constant source of frustration for them, and it tends to be an ongoing problem for their relationship. Some men decide they should masturbate to bleed off some of their drive. This may include porn use, but it very well may not. They would rather have sex with their wife, but they’re tired of the pain they both feel because his drive is so much greater.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and a sexually generous wife makes this so much easier

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly vis stockdreams.ai
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