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I wrote to the men about friends last week. Today I want to nudge you about the issue. 

This issue was the topic at the men’s retreat I attended recently. One speaker said most men don’t have friends; but they think they do because their wife has friends who have husbands. Now, it’s possible he really likes some of your friends’ husbands, but it’s not the same thing as having friends because he likes those guys.

Real friends are less common today than in the past, and men have it worse than women. Having multiple good friends makes us healthier, both mentally and physically. Long term studies have found friendship is the number one predictor of a long life. Having good friends is also a benefit to your marriage.

Far too many men say their only real friend is their wife. I’m all for you being at the top of that friend list, but if you’re his entire list, that’s bad for both of you. You were not intended to bear that burden, and being female, there are places where you can’t be the friend he needs.

I realise you can’t make friends for him. Nor will telling him to go out and make friends be likely to help. But you can be encouraging, and you can nudge him to spend time with other men. Given what it will do for his longevity and the health of your marriage, I’d say it’s in your interest to make it a priority.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have friends beyond my wife

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly vis stockdreams.ai
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