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How much trauma have you had in your life? Notice I didn’t ask if you’ve had trauma; that’s a given. Let me give you a few ideas to help you look at the trauma in your past, and then a book that could help you heal.

Psychologists talk about “big T trauma” and “little t trauma”. Things like war, terrorism, natural disasters, devastating accidents, and physical or sexual abuse, are big T. Little t things are events you find distressing that fall short of the big T category. Those would include being bullied, the death of a pet, harassment, and loss of important relationships. But while useful, those divisions are artificial. Frequency is a big deal, and things like bullying and harassment are often ongoing, which can make them big T trauma.

Then there’s the reality that we’re all different. If two people experience the exact same trauma, it can be far more devastating for one than the other. What’s more, some folks are better at burying trauma, making it seem it hasn’t effected them much. This is actually bad, because sooner or later it’s going to catch up with them.

Dr. Peter Levine said, “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.” I think this is brilliant. It’s also scary in a society that tells us to just get over it and move on. Men are worse about this than women, but it’s not great for women. And especially for women in the church.

If you haven’t dealt with the trauma in your past, and especially trauma from your childhood, it’s a landmine in your life. It’s going to blow at some point, and odds are it will be at the worst possible time because stress can trigger the explosion.

If you have trauma landmines in your life, I strongly suggest the book Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals Our True Calling by Dan B. Allender and Cathy Loerzel. It’s a difficult book because it will hit you emotionally. But it will either help you deal with stuff, or show you that you need help to deal with it.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and life is better when we deal with our past trauma.

Speaking of Trauma: Does your hubby snore? I’ve dealt with snoring my entire marriage. Early on I decided it was not going to keep me from sharing a bed with my wonderful wife, but the last couple of years it’s gotten difficult. We’ve tried a lot of things, all of which helped, but not enough. Then Lori found the ZQuiet mouthpiece, and I no longer hear snoring. And she says she feels better, as she is sleeping better. If either you or hubby snore, I highly recommend this!

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