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When I talked to the men about trauma, I said that suppressing trauma limits life. Not just the life of the one suppressing; it limits and hurts those close to the person doing the suppressing.

One big area of trauma for women is sexual trauma. No girl makes it to adulthood without some little t sexual trauma. And depending on the statistics you read, ten to twenty percent will have suffered big T sexual trauma. Since we still don’t talk about such things, especially in the church, most of these women didn’t get any help and have been living with the fallout of those events. 

If sex is a struggle in your marriage, there’s a very good chance your past sexual trauma is a big part of the problem. I’m not suggesting your husband is perfect or innocent, he’s not. But nothing he does, or stops doing, will deal with the results of your sexual trauma.

Digging up and dealing with the sexual harm from your childhood is no fun. But doing it sets you free. And not just free to enjoy sex the way God intended, it set you free in other ways you can’t imagine until you do it.

If you need to do this, the book Redeeming Heartache would be a good starting point.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m sorry.

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