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Over on Quora, a fellow said the following to me:

Blacks and women are treated equally and some laws even treat them better than your average white male. Give me an example of where they are not treated at least as well as the general population.

If you’re black or female, you know how wrong he is. You have experience being treated as less, and you know that laws don’t stop people from being rude, condescending, belittling, and far worse.

But here’s the thing. The (white, male) who said this believes it. We could discuss how blind one must be to not see what is all around them, but that doesn’t help. The reality is, we tend to be blind to what doesn’t affect us; even when it happens where we can see it. So rather than questioning the blindness, do something about it. Have deep, honest conversations with your husband about the reality of being a woman in this world. And then point out examples in real time when you see them.

Perhaps even more important, have these discussions with your sons. Teach them about the struggles and unfairness you deal with, and they will be less likely to do those things to women. They will also be less blind to such actions, and may stand up for women they see being treated wrong.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’m trying to see reality.

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