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Men have a habit of “protecting” their wives from truth they feel she cannot handle. I have had men tell me this straight out: “She couldn’t handle it, so I keep it from her.” Sure, some of these men are hiding their own sins or failings, but this isn’t always the case. Men keep things from their wives out of love, or at least they see it as love.

One common scenario is not telling her how bad their financial situation has become. Hiding past due notices, secretly paying bills with credit cards, or not mentioning the bank could foreclose on their home in the near future. They may also hide disturbing information about the kids, or their own medical problems.

Before you judge him too harshly, don’t you protect your kids from certain information you feel they couldn’t handle, or shouldn’t have to handle? I’m not saying you’re a child or should be treated as one; I’m merely trying to help you understand how doing this out of love might look. His motivation may be good; it’s his understanding of your limits that’s wrong.

Have you ever overreacted to bad news? Do you get depressed or worry endlessly? These could be reasons your husband has decided you can’t handle some truths. Are there certain things you’d rather not know about? If he’s aware of this, he might withhold things to make your life less troubled.

If your husband withholds bad news from you, consider he might be acting out of misguided love. By approaching him with this understanding, it will be easier to discuss the issue.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I have learned my wife can handle things just fine

[This post first appeared Aug 20, 2014.]

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