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On Monday, I suggested your husband might be blind to something that drives you crazy.  Today another male blind spot, this one sexual.

I’ve had a number of guys complain that their wife had a lot of sex with a lot of guys when she was single, but she rarely has sex with him. Others complain that she did oral sex or some other sex act with other men, but won’t do the same with him. These upset men call their wife hypocrites and worse. Even those who have forgiven are still upset.

I’m sure you can guess what’s going on with these women, but because men think and feel differently, they don’t get it. Men see sex primarily as what goes on between the couple’s legs. He doesn’t realise that for most women, what is or is not going on between the couple’s ears is far more critical. He also doesn’t comprehend having sex you don’t want to have because it’s the only way to get another date.

You can try explaining these realities to your guy, but it’s square peg, round hole territory at best. He may stop saying anything to you about it, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still bitter about it.

I don’t have a solution for this. While it wasn’t your intention, if you have the problem, you caused it. If his solution is something you can’t or shouldn’t do, then what? Is there some other way to make it better, or is he just stuck dealing with it?

~ Paul – I’m XY, and this post is a downer!

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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