Podcast: Download

On Quora, I see teenage and college age gals talking about doing sexual things that will negatively impact their later sex lives for decades to come. It breaks my heart. Many of them don’t even enjoy what they’re doing. But they think, perhaps correctly, they have to do those things to get a date, or to get a guy to marry them.

If you got from puberty to married without doing anything sexual you didn’t want to do, you are among the very few. However, if you’re like most women, do you understand how those things probably continue to affect you today?

If you did sexual things just for a guy, you programmed yourself to see sex as primarily for men. If you did things you found distasteful or uncomfortable, that decreased your desire for and your ability to enjoy sex. And if you did things you thought were wrong, sex may now stir up guilt.

If you don’t want sex today, if you struggle to enjoy it, or wish your husband would just get over sex, there’s a good chance much of that is because of what happened to you as a teen and young woman. I’m not here to tell you how that is unfair to your husband. Rather, I would like you to see how unfair it is to you. It would be like someone destroying your ability to enjoy chocolate, or a hobby you really enjoy. Something good was taken from you. A source of pleasure and a way to strengthen your marriage was violated. And that’s a tragedy.

If this post sounds like you, may I suggest you consider the possibility that you could regain what was lost? Not for your husband, but for you. It may take some work and uncomfortable effort, but Lori and I have seen it happen to many women.

BTW, a great place to start healing is Authentic Intimacy.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I want you to enjoy sex!

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.