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Let’s talk about needs. And let’s start with a definition: 

A need is something required for a safe, stable and healthy life. ~ Wikipedia

Since we’re talking about marriage here, let’s modify that definition just a bit: A need is something required for a safe, stable and healthy marriage.

What do you need for a healthy marriage? You need a deep level of communication and openness. You need to be told and shown that your husband loves you in ways that speak to you. You need to know he’s got your back, and you need to feel he respects you. You could survive without any of these, but if any of those are missing, your marriage will not be healthy, and it might not survive.

Your husband also has things he needs to have a healthy marriage. He probably puts sex at the top of his list. And while that is important, he also needs other things, including all the things I just said you need. A guy who is frustrated about sex will tend to ignore those other needs, to his detriment. And he may roll what he feels from not having those other needs met into his sexual frustration. And when that becomes a habit, a man may keep doing it even when the sexual issues get better.

If there’s not enough sex, covering everything else won’t resolve that. But making sure he gets those other things will help him. Giving him things he needs that he doesn’t know he needs is a very loving choice.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and man does not live by sex alone

Image Credit: © silverkblack | stock.adobe.com
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