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Last night, I dreamed that I was part of an experiment that put men in women’s bodies for a few days. I acted like I do as a man, and that was not acceptable to most folks, both men and women. I tried to think how women behave, so I could fit in. Sadly, I didn’t get the chance to explore what it’s like to have a female body other than trying to figure out how to put on my bra.

Yes, I have weird dreams. This wasn’t even in the top 10%.

What this makes think about is how poorly men understand women. We don’t understand what you deal with every day. We also don’t understand your bodies, and we are especially clueless about your sexuality.

I have one sex hormone. It cycles daily. I have no idea what it would be like to have multiple sex hormones doing a dance monthly. Or more than a month. Or less. Or less this time and way longer next time. I can’t comprehend how that affects the way you think and feel, or how it changes your sexuality.

My sex organs are out there, easy to see and touch, and my penis signals my arousal. My drive pushes me to explore my sexuality, and to want to share it with my wife.

I’ve studied human sexuality for decades, and heard a lot of women discuss it. So I probably have a better grasp than most men. And I still fall short. Your husband is likely confused about your sexuality. Or worse, he may think he understands and actually has most of it wrong. You can educate him. Tell him about your reality, and keep telling him. Let him know what your hormones are doing to you each day. And give him hands-on training about how to pleasure you.

The better he understands, the less frustration there will be for both of you, and the more you will enjoy sex.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and I’ve also been a space alien in my dreams.

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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