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More than once it has been suggested to me that I talk too much about sex here. Friday’s post is always about sex. Wayback Wednesday is sometimes about sex. And sex gets mentioned as an aside in some posts not primarily about sex. I’d guess at least half of my posts touch on sex in some way. So yeah, I talk about it a lot. 

Here’s the thing: sex is a big deal to most men, and it affects how they think and act. So a blog about understanding men will deal with sex a good deal. What’s more, sex is a common point of contention in marriages, so a marriage focused blog should deal with sex.

Look beyond the sex, and consider where I reveal how sex impacts what your husband thinks, says, and does. Consider this Wednesday’s post about how your hormones affect your life; twice I suggested you could get him more interested in the topic by bring up a valid sexual aspect of the subject. 

Generally my intention is not to use sex as advertisers do, adding it to things that have nothing to do with sex. Instead, I want you to understand that a lot of things link to sex in his mind. Beyond that, I’m not opposed to using sex to get his attention as long as it’s not manipulative or misleading. If him not doing certain things decreases your interest in sex, telling him that is honest and may make things better for both of you. 

On the other hand, refusing sex is a sure but bad way to get his attention. And using sex to punish him is a horrible idea. Explaining reality is fine, but intentionally using sex to hurt or manipulate will not end well for your marriage.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and this is how God made us.

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