Podcast: Download

The last few months I’ve been swimming two days a week as winter exercise. I wear trunks and a T-shirt in the pool. Most of the guys, especially the younger ones, don’t wear a shirt. Now honestly I’d be fine swimming naked. I wouldn’t be embarrassed one bit. I wear a T-shirt for the sake of others. Given my age that may be more about not offending than titillating, but whatever.

I bring this up because I want to talk about modesty today and I know most of you have been beaten over the head about this issue to the point you’re near violence about it. And given some of what I’ve read and, honestly some of what I wrote decades ago, I don’t blame you.

Yes, there are a lot of men who want to blame women for their lust problem. Rather than dealing with their own sin or teaching their sons to do that, they blame women. And, yes, that’s wrong, but let’s not let that wrong keep us from doing what’s right about modesty. Wrong + Wrong ≠ Right and all that.

The reality is most men, including most who are not jerks, are aroused by the sight of a woman’s breasts, genitals, and butt. Likewise for something that teases showing those features, such as a skirt with a high slit, and showing their outline, such as yoga pants. I realise some men can lust after a woman in a burka, but others don’t lust without a visual invitation.

My Bible says a lot about not offending others or causing them to be tempted, even with those called weaker brothers. We are called to abstain from things that are perfectly acceptable to not offend and I think that has to apply here. The question is where we draw the line. A lot of folks have drawn that line way too far over on the side of covering everything, while others say, “It’s his problem if he lusts”. I don’t see either of those as sane or biblical.

I have no intention of giving a list of do’s and don’ts here. But I can tell you that men do see hints of sexual body parts even if they don’t want to. Some choose to look for such things, others work to avoid them, and that’s on the men. What I’m asking of you is to be reasonable about not making it difficult for the decent guys who want to save their lust for their wives. Beyond that, ignore the legalists who want to cover you up and still blame you for their sin.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and my wife is my eye candy.

A post worth reading:

The Generous Husband | What If Immodesty Is Primarily About Us? ◄ Before you shoot me, see what I said to the guys about this issue.

Photo by Taylor Simpson on Unsplash
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.