Is “Slut-Shaming” Hurting Your Sex Life?

Recently, Lori expressed frustration at how difficult sex is for women compared to men. She said she was jealous at how easy it was for me to climax when I want to.

Now, the reality is Lori has it much better than most women, and she knows and acknowledges this. But she is right that it’s much easier for me.

Woman looking into mirror with the word "slut" written on it.

The question is why is this so? There are some gender based biological differences, but Lori and I both think there’s more to it. We think what is going on in a woman’s mind is a far bigger issue. Even in secular society, so called “slut-shaming” is a thing, and often women are harsher about it than men.

One definition of slut-shaming I found was accusing a girl or woman of being “too sexual”. It’s like there is some acceptable limit on your sexuality, and if you surpass that, you’re bad. In some circles, having any sexual desire is too sexual for a woman. Others allow more, but you can’t want it, do it, or God forbid enjoy it “too much”. And yes, this is put on married women who are only having sex with their husbands!

The lies and shaming limit you. They’re in the back of your head, restraining you when you make love with our husband. They keep you from asking for what you want, or exploring to learn what you might enjoy.

The reality is God made you sexual. He gave you a clitoris, which exists for no other reason than to give you sexual pleasure. He gave you orgasms that can be both longer and stronger than what your husband can experience. And some woman can have multiple orgasms. Yes, you are supposed to keep all that to yourself when you’re single, but once you’re married God wants you to go all in. 

It is my prayer for my wife, and every other married woman, to be set free from the lies of a culture that fears women enjoying sex. 

~ Paul – I’m XY, and there is no shame in enjoying sex with your man!

Photo by Meg on Unsplash
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