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I recently tweeted (or is that xed?) “How does your spouse feel about your choice of sex words? Are you turning them off with words they dislike?”

Tomorrow I will be discussing this with the gentlemen. But you might be doing it to him.

When it’s the hubby who dislikes the sexual words his wife uses, it’s rarely about them being crude or obscene. It is far more likely the wife is using words he sees as childish or clinical. Calling his penis his wee wee or his thing is not sexy. Neither is talking about your vulva as “down there” or your vajayjay. Likewise for the words you use for sex acts. “Let’s do it” is low on his list of ways for you to suggest sex.

Additionally, many men aren’t into clinical sounding words. Penis and vagina are clear and accurate, but they lack any passion. He’d rather you use slang terms for body parts and what can be done with them. Also, unless he refers to his penis as “mini me”, I suggest you never do so.

This can be tricky, but if you work at it, you can find words that don’t offend you and don’t make him feel like he’s part of potty training or a science experiment. If what you can live with leaves him flat, work on your own code words or euphemisms for sex.

~ Paul – I’m XY, and words matter

Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly created with stockdreams.ai
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